POSITIVE LIFE

‘Zoul de be mutu’ The guy is just dead!! The words from Director of Medical section in the ART therapy Juba Teaching Hospital - to me without understanding that I had heard what he was saying.  Simple and clear one who is in a foreign country always isn’t eligible to receive ART therapy since the Global Fund for HIV/AIDS Tuberclosis and Malaria tends to be offered to the natives of the country of origin unlike foreign visitors whether working or being residence in that country.

With great search and enquiries could not manage to get a single health facility offering ART therapy leave alone even the government owned public health facilities.  Even those owned by the INGOs like Unifem and with referral to their head health centre Juba Teaching Hospital. 

The question lingering many remains to be this those who are 200KM from the major city which is the capital city where should they run to and how are they going to receive these necessities as HIV/AIDS has become one of the major factors in GDP growth reduction since a lot of emphasis has not been made on fighting the disease but fighting those who are infected with the diseases itself. Where are implementers who are championing for world clear of AIDS disease as if those who are infected and need assistance are rejected by their own society or they are referred to a far distance place and they cannot even make ends meet as per their daily requirements are concerned.

Is there a channel the world is preaching good governance and equality among its citizens or the world is tending to be separate entity due to boundaries which have been demarcated by the colonial grandfathers since then we have been living in a unique and united community coloured, ethnicity nor race has never been our priority as far as HIV/AIDS is concerned.  We have always adored those who are coming out and giving positive ideas on how and where they can receive advices and support, but if the governmental organization tends to be unfair to other citizens of other nations then where are these friends of our receiving assistance from.  Them too they receive donations and assistance from other countries termed as the world unless they are not part of the world we are living in.

Survey showed that most of those facilities have no proper qualified councilors, facilitators and others give tests without counseling neither having preparedness of the patient/client being tested.

Most of the counselors tend to be un-professional counselors who are to be retrained and offered assistance to the community and society at large to know the whereabouts of   their patients being a referral areas and community supervisors within their locality.

With great admiration I re-checked all the private international clinics and non were authorized to offer ART therapy leave alone offering ARV treatments. But they had HIV/AIDs Testing and other STIs of which I asked suppose your client are Positive how do you assist the patient.  Since you have done counseling and he has accepted his status? And furthermore its his/her right not to disclose this as its his/her choice to go public with it. Then the counselor lets me know that they do some arrangements which are illegal as they are not required to offer the drugs to the patients leave alone them being in a possession of the drugs.

Most patients have problem since they wonder how will they be in this therapy while they are not well educated on their health plan, nutrition, family well know on their status so as to live positively with other members within the family, and many other factors which always tend to be stigmatization from these groups. 

Out of ten clinics visited even the proper dose of 960ml cosatrim tabs could not be found and they opted for the uncoated 480ml septrin (2 tabs per day) depending on patients dose per day.  Hence there are others who have improvised other medication which are equivalent to the cosatrim example of these still are foreign clinics which are bringing in to the market the cosatrim type of drugs.

How then can we eradicate these challenge in a country where sexual urge is too high as I remember the first time I was not prone to the urge but with time I found myself same as those I found in the area.  I always preached the use of condom and even distributed them to other call up ladies weekly more than 2,000 condoms, with the environmental conditions which were not welcoming we always lived as a community sleeping together like sisters and brothers in a big room like hostel with two beddings made of bamboo reeds.  These room could contain 150 per day or more depending on the clients who were arriving in Juba town.  Others made is a stay over for some time before getting a place to go to and others shifted to new locations after getting rooms in different areas. 

One could hold his dick for we had one mind to look for money and not sex but with time as we continued others were eluded to sexual affliction on the boredom being experienced, drunkenness, drug abuse, even those who were trying to change their friends to be Christians found it hard to maintain their faith.  Yes one can find himself in a situation of no return and indulge in un-compromising situations.

I remember I stayed in the same house for three months sleeping together with women, ladies, young men, pastors, thieves and all sorts of people.  My best friend Sam died while I had travelled to Kenya in 2013 January by HIV/AIDS though they could not know the course of his death we use to distribute condoms with him as he knew most areas where there were ladies.  Though these were his customers as other opted to sleep with him without money he was well known friend always humble to everyone and drinks a lot.  Ladies with their urge too had some tempting times and they could come back sometimes without customers, others without receiving sales of their wares as some were hawking clothes, human hair/weaves, children clothing among other wares. 

Its not because of ignorance that one gets infected by HIV/AIDS its through many ways, you can be infected without sleeping with anyone as these clinics within Juba area are not more secured as other medical facilities found within east African countries to say the least, hence you can be as faithful as you know your self but find yourself infected unknowing where you got the disease from.

As for myself I got it just immediately I slept with one lady for one night. Yes just one night and bung I was HIV positive.  And I realized it almost immediately as I felt something from my spirit telling me you have it boy.  I tried to visit a VCT centre and it was closed, the second one the counselor had travelled to Uganda of which he was to return back after a month.  As they were only two which I knew I had to wait for these guy to come back since it was the place we always collected condoms for distribution.

Then I tried going back again to the one which was closed still they had opened but the counselor told me they test teenagers [the youth] though I look as teenager I seemed to be old enough and the other option was if we were couples. I was alone this day and had no one to put courage on to bring me to the VCT [a lady friend or mother] as I was eager to know my status.

Then after a month the guy did not come back but a mum was there to test me and just as I had thought of I was positive now its like 10 months since I was diagnosed HIV positive and it did not hit me like it was to since I had done counseling to others and given youth more advice on how they should behave but here I was I was supposed to be counseled and live positively as those who have been living positively in this world of HIV/AIDS.

No therapy was provided to me since I was a foreigner and the lady advised me when I travel to Kenya I go for more check up and to be checked too of CD4 count to determine exactly if I should start straight away with the ART Therapy depending on my CD4 counts.  I was dejected but not brought down the worst was still waiting from me as I left and reached home its when I started feeling it, the pain, dejected, pressurized on myself why did I do it? Questions lingered on and off my mind and could not talk to anyone hence I started developing but swell as if am more healthy though I know it was the stress which was turning me to be in the situation I was experiencing. No sooner these were the times I had just been released from the prison for a crime I did not do together with other friends of mine. 

I tried to cool myself with hard drink of 75ml sturf which could blacken me out completely at home without raising my head up, thinking I had committed suicide.  After six hours could come back to normal strength, no one knew what I was going through. My wife enquired how I was doing and I told here things were just fine and even she insisted if I have problem I can use condom since she knew things can be hard sometimes to contain yourself if you have stayed for long without travelling home in a long period of time. I told he everything was fine and assured her of that.

I started swelling more with my chicks being big and stomach coming to size 34 from 31 almost wondering what was going on.  More was in my mind just to die ealier than go home to my family as I had let them down. 

I managed to travel and could not disclose the issue to my wife and she asked if we could go to VCT centre and I just assured her we gona go since she always went to work till 3pm and reaches home at least at 4pm when the centres were closed. Though I always took precaution by using condom carefully, and even fearing the whole issue of sex with my wife since I was afraid to explain the whole issue I had passed through, one always has no starting point to these matters whether you are from Europe or Bush land.

The day of reconing came when I was supposed to give my medical certificate and work with another company of which we were with my wife and we were to take the medical together unknowing that I was positive I was reluctant to tell the counselor I was positive and stayed calm.

My results Positive and my wife Negative.  Bom shell at first she didn’t know what to say but kept calming me down since she could not understand what really happened.  I explained everything what resulted and the reasons I was using condom while having sex since I had to protect her before both of us knew our status. I always went for tests when I travelled back home and this time things changed for bad to worse as we were having some family issues which made me to opt for working in South Sudan and being far from Kenya. 

ART Therapy in Kenya is more advanced compared to south Sudan as most of the government health centres not withstanding national health facilities do provide the therapies and drugs.  All provide best counseling and home based care and visits on the patients response to the drugs.  The first I started with were the cosatrim for a month and wondered why they were not proving me with the ARVs little did I know the side effects of the drug though this was a life line of my living.  I searched in the websites the side effects and even my wife assisted me to check on these but when the ARVs started the first day I thought I was a different world of demons with night mares with a close of an eye.  Sweating profusely and feeling like a dead human being. 

One has to understand being positive is not a choice nor ignorance but due to the choices we make one can be positive or negative and one can be positive by bad luck depending on the circumstances which one is in.  after completing my first bottle of ARV my wife decided we should separate since she was uncomfortable staying together in the same house and as I loved her and my daughter I obliged though with hatred and un-understanding that these are the people I looked after for their love and affection hence I had to contend with being without them.  I decided to get three months dosage and was granted by giving the councilor the notion that I was going back to work in South Sudan though I was travelling to Uganda first since I had been sleeping on a couch instead of our bed for a month I saw it better to give my family space not to bother them but to communicate with them when time requires. 

Without a job and alone I became totally different person as per my attitude and character due to the ARVs since I was not eating well and drinking a lot of water.  I changed to a completely different person altogether and after three months of completion of the drugs had no money to buy though could only manage to buy Septrin. Which still were expensive to my income.

Government bodies dealing with HIV/AIDS should have policies as this is not just a governmental issue of country of origin but global issue which the whole globe is looking upon.   One should be allowed to receive medical assistance no matter where you are for all human race are all equal no matter the colour, ethnicity, race nor borders.

Supposing we were fighting Malaria how could we assisting those suffering if the drugs could not be found in each and every corner of the world.  First there has to be world leaders who are championing for awareness and support to the less fortunate.  Equality to all human race, gender and education.

Suppose we fight those who are HIV Positive how will we eradicate the disease itself.  How will we get the right information on living with those suffering from the diseases itself.  How will we assist those living with HIV/AIDS.  That’s a big question though we can manage to work it out by bringing all stakeholders together and foresee that we don’t leave our brothers and sisters in need are suffering due to stigmatization within ourselves.  Why love someone while hate the same person when things turns to be negative the way we don’t tend it to be?  The father you loved turns to be HIV positive and you wonder how will the community take it?